Wilberforce's Letter to John Newton - Meeting in Secret

Wilberforce's diary, of 1785, reveals that he struggled with the thought of talking with John Newton:

30 November I thought seriously this evening of going to converse with Mr Newton.

2 December Resolved again about Mr Newton. It may do good; he will pray for me. Kept debating in that unsettled way…

On the 2nd of December, Wilberforce delivered this letter to Newton:

"Sir, there is no need of apology for intruding on you, when the errand is religion. I wish to have some serious conversation with you, and will take the liberty of calling on you for that purpose, in half an hour; when, if you cannot receive me, you will have the goodness to let me have a letter put into my hands at the door, naming a time and place for our meeting, the earlier the more agreeable to me. I have had ten thousand doubts within myself, whether or not I should discover myself to you; but every argument against doing it has its foundation in pride. I am sure you will hold yourself bound to let no one living know of this application, or of my visit, till I release you for the obligation."

What followed thereafter (if anything), plus the signature, has been torn away.

Then there is a postscript:

"P.S. Remember that I must be secret, and that the gallery of the House is now so universally attended, that the face of a member of Parliament is pretty well known."

William's diary, for the 3rd of December, reveals further personal thoughts about meeting with Newton:

3 December Had a good deal of debate with myself about seeing Newton.

He did see John Newton, of course, even though Wilberforce continued to argue with himself before knocking on the church door:

After walking about the Square once or twice before I could persuade myself, I called upon old Newton.

Following the meeting, a calmer Wilberforce wrote in his diary:

When I came away I found my mind in a calm, tranquil state, more humbled, and looking more devoutly up to God.

He was ready to begin a journey - to convince Parliament to abolish the slave trade - which would ultimately take two decades.